Wednesday, 12 March 2014

Wonderful Writing

Camp thoughts
'I imagine the dorms will be very cold, the roof will have spiders and cobwebs, the walls will be all dented, the floor will be slippery, dirty and cold. I bet that when you sleep the roof will have small cracks and the rain will drip all over you and in the morning you will be all soggy. The dents in the walls will be huge because of all the children. Just think, first a small hit then a middle sized bang and then a big boom and the next thing you know there is a huge dent in the wall. At the middle of the night the ants will come out from under the bed and nibble at your toes.' 
By Tayla.

12 comments:

  1. That was greet writing Tylar I don't have feed back only feed forward. ByBailey

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  2. Well done Tayla I think you have done a great job with your camp writing you have used great desribing words . I think you could said something you are looking forward. By Zara

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    1. I think that two Zara.By Jadon

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  3. Wonderful writing Tayla it is very descriptive about the dorms.
    By Caleb

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  4. Amazing work tayla i like how you used descriptive language about the dorms.
    By Cole

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  5. Well done Tayla you have given me a great image in my head of what the dorms may look like!!! By Teeshan.

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  6. I agree with Teeshan you have painted a picture of what the dorms look like.By Natasha

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  7. Wow your writing is amazing Tayla.By Jadon

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  8. Great writing Tayla I like how you have done little bang medium bang Big Bang there's a dent in the wall. Next time you could put the main words for example boom you could put it in capital letters to make it stand out. By Freya

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  9. Great writing Tayla I can just picture in my head what you are imagining. By Alex.

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