Thursday, 13 March 2014

Teeshan's Writing!!!

I'm now ready for my biggest challenge.
I can see myself holding the bow and arrow in my hand while my feet are bouncing on the sponge-like grass. I imagine that I'm a hunter trying to kill my prey. Now it's time for my big moment. I place the arrow in the bow. I pull the string back and aim using a single eye. My arms are shaking, legs are stiff then SWOOP!!! The arrow flies through the air faster than the speed of lightning and its pointy tip sinks into the target. "Did I get a bullseye?"
I guess I have to wait and find out. By Teeshan.

9 comments:

  1. I like how you have used capital letters to make that word 'SWOOP' stand out Teeshan. What a great way to make your writing interesting. Maybe next time, you could try and use some new vocabulary. Try another word instead of 'pull'. By Miss D.

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  2. I like how you described the bow and arrow .
    By Debashish

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    1. I really like your writing Teeshan!!!

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  3. I like how you had a question at the end "Did I get a bullseye?"
    By Jasleen

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  4. I agree with you Jasleen, I like how you said 'did I get a bullseye?' At the end. I think that you should try and use a better word than 'hold' By Emma

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  5. I like how you have said "My feet are bouncing on the sponge like grass". By Natasha

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  6. I like how you said I'm a hunter ready to kill my prey. I think you could of described the bow and arrow better than saying bow and arrow. By Bailey

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  7. Wow Teeshan awesome camp writing very descriptive!!
    Izzy room 23

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  8. Wow Teeshan amazing writing! I wonder if you got your bullseye.
    By Tayla

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